Antifashion: Five Fierce Masks for Fall Protests

Raccoon balaclava

Welcome to Fall semester, Clownrads! As you’re settling into your virtual dorm rooms, meeting your Zoom roommates, and organizing those first, fumbling socially-distanced sexual encounters, you’ll want to make sure you’ve got all the antifashion essentials for this season.

From Kenosha to Ferguson, Hong Kong to Belarus, protests are this season’s hottest trend. And masks are, of course, de rigueur, but not just any old mask: you’ll want something practical, weather-appropriate, Covid-impervious, and stylish! Let’s look at a few of these picks from the Dean of the Antifa College School of Antifashion.

Etissta Neck Gaiter

It’s cultural appropriation at its most appropriate Fashionrads!

This charmingly exotic demi-balaclava‘s subcontinental “mandala” pattern slims while it protects. A busy pattern distracts the eye from lingering in trouble spots, a dark background gives an overall impression of sveltitude, and the complexity of the design functions like dazzle camouflage, making it difficult for law enforcement to draw a bead on you.

AstroAI Balaclava

Tactisexual reporting for duty! The AstroAI is ready when you are, whether that means snowboarding, sandstorm chasing, or just heading off to make a citizen’s arrest. Strong horizontal interest over the eyes draws attention away from troublesome sagging chins, patchy beards, roid-thickened necks, and the prolonged, gruesome death of the existing civil order.

Siyuan Neck Gaiter

These colors DO RUN! And they’re fabulous! The Siyuan Neck Gaiter‘s trendy hippie tie-dye softly whispers “I heart drum circles and Patchouli” while the value pricing and 100% polyester fabric scream “I’m a low-maintenance gal ready to settle!”

WTACTFUL 3D Animal Balaclava

Antifadorable!

WXXM Neck Gaiter Ear Loops Balaclava Bandana Headwear Cooling Face Cover Scarf for Dust Wind Cycling

For those days when nihilistic self-immolation seems quaintly charming and you wonder if anyone has turned the Gulag Archipelago into a musical yet, there is the WXXM Neck Gaiter Ear Loops Balaclava Bandana Headwear Cooling Face Cover Scarf for Dust Wind Cycling. Combine with a stylish head-to-toe winter white ensemble, position yourself against a colorless background, and simply fade into blissful nothingness while the world burns.

Talk to us, Clownrads! Antifa welcomes feedback and debate!

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